| lol memes |
[09 Dec 2007|07:13pm] |
 Dear Santa...
Dear Santa,
This year I've been busy!
Last Thursday I ruled Canada as a cruel and heartless dictator (-700 points). In January I helped ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) corpsexbride see the light (8 points). In March I set bookkeeper09's puppy on fire (-66 points). Last Friday I committed genocide... Sorry about that, purifymeplease (-5000 points). In February I ate my brussel sprouts (1 points).
Overall, I've been naughty (-5757 points). For Christmas I deserve a lump of coal!
Sincerely,
kisskoh |
|
|
| Love at first text |
[22 Feb 2007|01:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 listless |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Juanes - "La Camisa Negra" |
] |
I had the most awesome text message conversation last week. It started when at night when I got this message from someone whom I will call Pat Periwinkle for the same of anonymity. Anonymiety? Being anonymous.
PP: Im hopin this is the right one now?!?
This message was from a number I didn't recognize, but I'll just say that the digits were so beautifully sequential that any number theorist would kill to have it. It happened that Michelle was feeling ill this night so I went into my inbox and replied:
ME: Feel healthy. Be happy.
Of course I intended this for Michelle, but Pat got my blessing instead. The next morning, he or she responded:
PP: For me 2 b happy i wanted 2 kno if you had feelings 4 me? To tel u the truth ive had the bigest crush on u and i wanted to kno if nething could be between us?!?!
Having just woken up, I decided to play along with the possibility that this was a long-lost contact who just got my number.
ME: How long have you felt this way?
PP: A long time and i got the nerve up to tel u... I rele do feel that way bout u...
After my first class, I called Michelle to tell her about my potential new suitor. She got all huffy from fact that she had competion, and she told me to tell him or her the truth about my identity right away. During the conversation, I got this message:
PP: I cant get u out of my mind
So I agreed that the sooner I sorted this out, the better.
ME: Thats really sweet. You should probably tell him/her face to face. Or at least tell the right number. Just be yourself and youll do fine!
PP: Ok where do u go next i got somdthing to tel u!
ME: I don't think you understand. Wrong number.
PP: No this is Poinsetta Missy McBride right?
Named changed in case it doesn't work out between them.
ME: Wrong gender. Sorry.
ME: We can still be friends. But i have to go to class now. Good luck with kayla!
PP: Omg who is this then?
PP: Im confused who r u?
He tried to call me, but he could probably tell from my gruff voicemail greeting that I'm a 42-year-old FBI agent. He stopped text messaging me, but we've stayed friends since and now we're in the Guinness Book of World Records, under World's Bestest Buddies.
|
|
| Racist Tea |
[18 Aug 2006|11:41am] |
Reserved exclusively in ancient times for Chinese Emperors, White Tea is the lightest and rarest of all teas. Hand picked in the early morning hours when the leaves are gently kissed by mountain dew, White Tea is minimally processed and full of healthful antioxidants. By blending it with the delicate taste of tangerine and sealing each tea bag in slavor-protecting pouches, Bigelow takes this wonderful beverage up a level to enchance your tea-drinking experience. We are sure the Emperors would have approved--and so will you!
Jeez, David and Eunice Bigelow sure know how to hawk a product.
Futhermore, from now on I shall be known as The Zachmatic. Fear me.
|
|
| The good old days |
[13 Jun 2006|08:24am] |
The current Cosmopolitan magazine they're pushing in grocery stores has something about "62 Sex Moves" as the cover story. Things have really changed since back in the day. I can remember a time when Cosmo would run headlines that had a little more taste, such as, maybe, "8 Sex Moves".
And Fitness magazine is advertising "Yoga for Hotter Sex". Fitness magazine. I love America.
|
|
| Whomg |
[02 Jun 2006|10:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 serious |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Blue October -- "Hate Me" |
] |
Archery's so frustrating to me now. Aim with all my ability, draw back on the string until the blood is trapped in my fingertips as if they had a tourniquet on them, aim again just to be sure, and miss by inches. I was trying as hard as I could. Why didn't it do what I was trying to make it do? Either I wasn't trying as much as I thought I was, or I just suck.
Why did I like it before? For one thing, I couldn't draw as hard when I started as I can now, so it didn't hurt my fingers. And for another thing, the idea of accuracy appealed to me. In stadium sports, the opposing teams do a bunch of stuff, and whoever scores the most points with their stuff wins. In the end, there are no consequences, and no evidence of who won or lost (expect for maybe the jerseys on the trampled corpses that are left after the fans of the victorious team stop swarming the field.) Even with noncompetitive activities like music, there's just no definition. Who decides what sounds good and what doesn't? And once the strings have stopped vibrating, there's nothing left, no product. Except impressions on people's minds, but what's the worth in that?
But with archery, you can see whether the performance was good or bad because it's right there in front of you. It either hit the spot or it was off. No second-guessing, no debates. You aim and fire, and the less of a discrepancy there is between your will and the physical world, the more skilled you are. And isn't that what science is all about? Getting reality to conform to our wills?
I guess I wasn't really aiming. I'll try again tomorrow. With gloves.
|
|
| Mmm, lemons |
[25 May 2006|08:26pm] |
I had another one of those moments lately. A few months ago, I was reading a philosophy book and I wanted to cut to the parts about Buddhism, so I checked the index and found one instance of "Buddhism, Zen" on page 32. Turning to that page, I found nothing about Buddhism. Nothing. Not even something about fat bald guys. Instead, it was about evil and the passage of time or something.
Only now I realize how brilliant that is. Of course page 32 doesn't mention Zen Buddhism! Only in that way can it be about Zen Buddhism.
I looked at the index again, recently. Apparently, the reference to Zen was on section 32, not page 32. It turns out we're all drops in a stream, rather than stones at the bottom.
|
|
| Anyways |
[20 May 2006|07:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 dead |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"Do You Wanna Dance" -- Ramones |
] |
I figured out what it was. I had left my shoes outside, because there was some stuff on the bottom attracting ants.
|
|
| Rain |
[15 May 2006|01:12pm] |
"The state, the church, the plans, the vote, what's the verb behind it all? The how, the why, the where, the when, the who, can these words find the truth?"
--Minutemen, "The World According to Nouns"
It rained last night. Usually it's comforting to hear rain beating against the roof, but this night, I had a nagging feeling that I left something outside.
|
|
| Yesterday |
[22 Apr 2006|03:18pm] |
LiveJournal autosaves drafts now? Has so much changed since I stopped updating? It's true what they say. You can never go home.
Here's what happened yesterday, Friday 21 April 2006 AD (CE), because I know all you care.
( Cut for length. Fear it. )
For next class, please have a 300-word essay about your favorite part of my day. MLA format.
|
|
| Spring break yet? |
[13 Mar 2006|12:54am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 busy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
"The Assuming Song" -- WAPL Morning Crew |
] |
This pretty much sums up my life.
|
|
| Hate the game, not the player |
[28 Jan 2006|10:25pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
worried |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Franz Ferdinand -- "Walk Away" |
] |
They say an eye for an eye makes us all blind, but do we really deserve to see?
|
|
| Like school in the summer |
[11 Jan 2006|12:13pm] |
Here's a brief overview of my classes this semester:
Academic Seminar: This class embodies most everything that is evil in school. Grah, I don't even want to think about it.
Calculus III: Arithmatic on steriods. You know how in elemetary school math you would add numbers and multiply numbers and plot numbers on a number line? This is like that, except in 3D space.
Differential Equations: This wouldn't be so hard if it weren't for all those symbols. Cv1x(dy/dx) - Cv24y(d^3y/dx^3) = 0. What are we trying to prove again? And Mrs. Polk may or may not have the whole teaching thing down.
Sociology: This class is fun. I was going to drop it so I would have more time to work on Academic Seminar, but I'm glad I didn't. Dr. Schjott knows what he's doing, even if his name is hard to spell.
Advanced Java Programming: Gee, I don't know. This class is online, and it might be pretty easy if I knew what the assignments were. The instructor said it was okay if I missed the orientation (which I did), but she hasn't quite sent me an email telling me what to do next.
Spanish III: I was a fool to take this class. This class is going to kill me. Splatter my guts all over the wall. They'll have to quarantine the room, because some infectious fungus will probably start growing on my gory remains and it will take over people's minds and turn them into zombies.
So I guess Michelle's really gone. I miss her too much.
|
|
|
[03 Jan 2006|09:42pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
slightly accomplished |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Michael Jackson -- Bad |
] |
Jumping Jehosephat, I actually updated Tuahan.com. Not that it was an update worth making, but at least it's there.
Can we have a socialist revolution now? Like, tomorrow?
|
|
| Histonotes |
[15 Dec 2005|07:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Mr. Scruff--Shanty Town |
] |
With history notes as good as these, how can I fail?
Hitler decided to add Austria to the 3rd Reich. Austria agreed.
Sudetenland: Part of Germany used to make Czechloslovakia
When Hitler tried to take the Sudetenland, France and Allies decided it was time to stop him. With conferences.
For 4 hours, Hitler ranted about how the Versailles treaty was unfair. Then he refused to continue the conference.
Fr4nc: Teh madman must be stopt NOW!
YouKay: If Fr4nc ax, Fr4nc ax alone
They gave him part of Czechloslovakia to make him happy.
Then he invaded Czechloslovakia.
Then he wanted Poland. At this point, France and Britland were like, "WTF". They wanted Russia as an ally to defend Poland, but they didn't have good contact with Russia.
It took the British ambassador, like, forever to sail to Moscow. Von Riventrout The German dude took a plane.
|
|
| The revolution will be no rerun, brothers |
[29 Nov 2005|09:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 surreal |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Green Day -- She's a Rebel |
] |
Every time I want to update about something that happened at work, I change my mind and decide to save it for Tuahan.com instead. I hope I actually do it soon, but installing the FTP, writing the article, and getting the formatting all right is more of an ordeal than just writing it here. And what if I get distracted and start playing Oregon Trail instead, huh? What then?
Lessee... I have work/homework Wednesday and Thursday, and I'm out of town Friday and Saturday... So update Tuahan.com once again on Sunday! No excuses! Kill me if I don't.
|
|
|
[20 Nov 2005|09:55pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 no mood, but Tails is cute |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Heiruspecs-- A Tiger Dancing |
] |
Why do people tell me to smile? I see loads of angry, sad, or otherwise distracted people every day, and no one tells them to smile. Something's not fair here.
|
|
| Insert meme here |
[05 Nov 2005|10:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
chipper |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
I don't really know |
] |
Today was really great.
I got out of bed because my mother had some music playing and the sun was hitting me in the eyes.
I feel a bit strange because we've just moved to Idaho and there's a weird smell in the house.
I'm so hardcore. Me and Buzz went to the mall today, and I stole a whole heap of stuff. I got a Good Charlotte CD, a couple of DVDs and some new boots. Buzz got caught, but he fought his way out, and then we stole some lady's car and smashed it into a phone booth.
Last night I had to finish my term paper on the history of pre-communist Russian society. I focussed on the needs of women. I think it's ok, but if I don't pass this I'll lose my scholarship.
I want to tell the world that I love you all! You're all so special to me!
I am sharpening my knives before I go to work today, because I'm going to cut out Robert's heart and feed it to him for losing my mail.
Today, I got a digital camera! Yes! But I don't know how to work it. Can you help me?
I want to say thanks to the academy for giving me this award.
You should all do this quiz! It's amazingly accurate. You just put in your name and birthday, and it will tell you you're a moron.
I've discovered that how 'over' my cash register is at work is directly proportional to how happy I am.
That's enough for now. But I'll leave you with this thought - sharing your life with strangers on the internet is the cheapest form of therapy available. Leave a comment and tell me I'm beautiful.
Created with the Gregor's Semi-Automatic LiveJournal Updater™. Update your journal today!
Powered by Rum and Monkey
|
|
| UNMOUNTED_BOOT_VOLUME |
[29 Oct 2005|10:42am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
mixed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Loveholic -- Invisible Things |
] |
They've got a new playlist at Food World! I've been blessed with all sorts music lately. Now instead the sound system blasting out Avril Lavigne and fifty-year-old crooner hits, they play sleazy hip-hop and at least two songs from American Idiot. Can't wait to see what kind of customers this brings in.
My computer wouldn't start up today. After spending half an hour on hold with the Democratic People's Republic of India, I was told my hard drive is borked and a technician will come by to replace it some time next week. Good thing most of the files I care about are on Tuahan.com's server anyway. And it will give be another chance to get Linux working. (Although I lost some images I'll never get back... -_-)
Hurrah for standard-issue laptops, among other things.
|
|
| One nation under the maple leaf |
[26 Oct 2005|05:10pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
puzzled |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Koyote |
] |
I bought Green Day's American Idiot yesterday. Buying a mainstream CD made me feel dirty. I had to give myself a bath or two afterwards.
The lyrics insert is themed like scribbles on some kid's notebook. My birthday is written on the margin beside "Boulevard of Broken Dreams". That can't be a good omen.
Have you ever paid close attention to the words of that song? If you think of the words without considering how the song sounds, it seems like goth poetry. Goth poetry! "As I stumble down the boulevard of broken dreams through the rainy miasma of my soul, the beating of my shallow heart is the only sound." Aren't Green Day supposed to be hardcore? What are they doing writing bad poetry?
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
